Turkey Dinner

The following is a letter that SH had to write in his 4th grade class.

Dear Meany Farmer Billy Joe,

Why are you going to eat me for Thanksgiving? You said that I was your favorite turkey. It thought it was a joke at first, but when I heard you say it yourself I knew it was real. Before you kill me, please listen to my ideas and tell me if you are still going to eat me.

First of all, I'm going to tell you. I am sick with malaria. If you eat me you will get infected too, and if you get it, you will lose all of your beautiful, sparkling, brown hair. If you get infected you might die. I think I have turkey pox, which are purple spots that ooze a yucky liquid, and I am mostly juices and barely any meat.

Secondly, my wife is way plumper than me. Please eat her instead. She is way plumper with way more meat. Also, she is so slow, you could kill her with a pocket knife, or just put poison in her food because her nose doesn't work. She'll eat anything.

Last of all, the best reason is I have two short legs. I know how much you guys like turkey legs, and both of my legs together could only feed one of your children. Would it be good for you to get me when my legs are way too small to eat?

Don't you think those are good reasons? Anyway, why do you want me when I have the disease of malaria and my legs are too short? Right now I am laying in my nest wheezing and getting weaker each second. Please if you choose not to eat me for Thanksgiving, get me some medicine.



Your ex Thanksgiving Dinner,
Turkey Bob

Apparently they had to be turkeys and give reasons why they shouldn't be the next meal on the dinner plate. Anyone want my son for Thanksgiving? I thought it quite convincing...