Turkey Dinner

The following is a letter that SH had to write in his 4th grade class.

Dear Meany Farmer Billy Joe,

Why are you going to eat me for Thanksgiving? You said that I was your favorite turkey. It thought it was a joke at first, but when I heard you say it yourself I knew it was real. Before you kill me, please listen to my ideas and tell me if you are still going to eat me.

First of all, I'm going to tell you. I am sick with malaria. If you eat me you will get infected too, and if you get it, you will lose all of your beautiful, sparkling, brown hair. If you get infected you might die. I think I have turkey pox, which are purple spots that ooze a yucky liquid, and I am mostly juices and barely any meat.

Secondly, my wife is way plumper than me. Please eat her instead. She is way plumper with way more meat. Also, she is so slow, you could kill her with a pocket knife, or just put poison in her food because her nose doesn't work. She'll eat anything.

Last of all, the best reason is I have two short legs. I know how much you guys like turkey legs, and both of my legs together could only feed one of your children. Would it be good for you to get me when my legs are way too small to eat?

Don't you think those are good reasons? Anyway, why do you want me when I have the disease of malaria and my legs are too short? Right now I am laying in my nest wheezing and getting weaker each second. Please if you choose not to eat me for Thanksgiving, get me some medicine.



Your ex Thanksgiving Dinner,
Turkey Bob

Apparently they had to be turkeys and give reasons why they shouldn't be the next meal on the dinner plate. Anyone want my son for Thanksgiving? I thought it quite convincing...

Whistle gets vetoed...

Obviously, I wasn't meant to pass on to you the more pertinent information of us acquiring the cat as it went to extremely tiny text on the blog. I did want to inform you of the primary reason for getting another pet. MICE. We have rampant breeding of mice going on in our garage. Dave has successfully 'speared' several and caught others in traps. So 'Whistle' was brought in as our reinforcement. Dave, however, has boycotted the new furry pets name. Fervently behind his regard to having a male cat have a male name, especially one that is needed for hunting, thus requiring a change. At dinner tonight we voted on a new name... would it be Cat-a-licous (Macy's language all things end in -a-licous), Killer, Hunter, Vinnie... So introducing...

VADER

The mighty mouse slayer

(but he will return to Whistle if proof of his hunting and killing skills don't improve.)

Another Crosby Addition

This one to replace our dear Scamper who went missing after jumping from the top of my vehicle at high speed. Meet...

Whistle

We acquired Whistle from the Cat Lady at the Animal Allies of Texas. The Cat Lady was very excited to see someone with lots of young children take Whistle, as to her, he is very playful. (I'll have to share a story of the Cat Lady's sticky, furry fingers at a later time. Quite entertaining. ) Back to Whistle. We waited a few months to replace Scamper with hopes of her return still lingering. Last week however, we became direly in need of another feline as our garage has been taken hostage by LOTS of furry little rodents- MICE! Lets hope that Whistle can fill at least some of the void Scamper left behind...and rid our garage of the mice too!

Not so distant past...

I was introduced to this 'must' on the day of a Homecoming in Texas.

"Isn't she too young?" Dave asked as he pulled out of the driveway with his 2nd grade daughter, en route to school. Guess not, so I have been told. Everything seems bigger in Texas, including these 'mums' they wear. This is nothing compared to those in High School, I am told. Until MQ is old enough, I can wait...

We did happen upon something that isn't bigger in Texas...

Yes, it speaks big, "The Monster Maze!" It was, however VERY deceiving! It took us much longer to drive to this "Monster Maze" than it did to conquer it. Fortunately, we were of but a few visitors on this particular day. I just hope that they didn't hear our children complain, "That's it! A baby could have done that!" After we emerged a whole five minutes after entering the "Monster Maze". For most of it, Dave was taller than most of the corn stalks. We did encounter some interesting things along our way...

Sensing our disappointment in the maze, Farmer Joe, in true southern hospitality, hopped right over and offered us a complimentary hay ride which was immediately followed by pig races. He was quite entertaining. Dave and I decided that our money was well spent. Not because of the maze but because of Joe's desires to make our trip worth it. Maybe we will return next year when Hurricane Ike won't have wiped out most of the corn.